In a fortnight probably best filled in the archives for the petrol-head Jeremy Clarkson and his Top Gear co-hosts, the infamous presenter has had a petition calling for him and the show to be re-instated, delivered to the BBC in a tank driven through the centre of London.

The stunt, organised by Guido Fawkes the political blogger, saw The Stig atop an Abbot SPG clutching a petition of 1 million names calling for Clarkson to be re-instated.

In what seems to be the most publicised punch since the Rumble in the Jungle when undefeated world heavyweight champion George Foreman was pitted against challenger Muhammad Ali, Clarkson’s alleged punch caused a fat lip and required a hospital visit for his producer Oisin Tymon

In a slightly different setting, it is reported that the fracas between Clarkson and his producer was over the lack of hot meal at the end of the day of filming.

This week, to add fuel to an already infernoesque fire, Clarkson, speaking at a Roundhouse Gala charity auction last Thursday Clarkson likened himself to plankton being swallowed by a whale in reference to his importance within the BBC.

During the auction, Clarkson raised £100,000 pledged for the opportunity of driving around the Top Gear track- claiming that it may be his last before being sacked. That now maybe too late after the public demise and final ‘parting of company’ between Clarkson and the BBC yesterday; overshadowed only by Zane’s announcement that he quit One Direction. Who knew it would be such a momentous day! And yes, our tongue is well and truly stuck in our cheek!

Well, Jezza, you are in luck! We have a perfectly good track, with excellent vehicles that you can drive round. Slightly larger, noisier and less comfortable that some of the vehicles you are used to driving but just as much fun!

We have filmed for the Top Gear gang twice at Armourgeddon; for the Top Gear at the Movies DVD on location with the team and for the Top Gear magazine just a few months ago here on site at Southfields Farm. Switching super cars for tanks shouldn’t be too much of a challenge for Mr. Clarkson and the other instructors here will certainly show him the ropes! Sadly though, you do have to provide your own hot meal after the day on the track although the local pub often fills nicely following the final tank paintball battle of the late afternoon and they do a mean bowl of chips and gravy! No steak though…. We’d rather avoid the media attention if it were cooked wrong!

Back to tanks and central London, it is reported that the Stig-driven tank caused such confusion in London that the Metropolitan police were forced to issue an advisory in case the sight of an armoured vehicle rolling through the streets of the capital, seemingly at random, alarmed onlookers.

“There is a self-propelled gun/ armoured vehicle rolling through the streets of Central London this morning making its way to the Broadcasting House in Portland Place” it reads. “Police are fully aware and are in contact with the event organisers. The vehicle is currently in Islington.”

We do, of course, have an Abbot SPG here on site at Armourgeddon in the museum for you to selfie infront of! Sadly no Stig, but we will keep you updated on the arrival of Jeremy Clarkson should he take up our offer of alternative employment now that he is cut free from the BBC.

Switching track laps in a Bugatti Veyron and onsite catering for FV432s, mud, fun and cannons loaded with massive paintballs. We’ll even get a caravan in for him to use for target practice. So there is life on the other side!